


Your Brother Brought A Gun To A Dildo Fight?

by CarylDixonandGrimes (FandomLifeTookMyHandAndSaidRUN)



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Anal Sex, Dildos, M/M, Masturbation, Non-Graphic Violence, Rickyl Writers' Group, Rimming, Sex toys used in self defense, sloppy blowjob
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-16
Updated: 2017-02-16
Packaged: 2018-09-24 19:52:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9783278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FandomLifeTookMyHandAndSaidRUN/pseuds/CarylDixonandGrimes
Summary: Merle is arrested after a failed attempt to rob a sex toy store. This short oneshot explores the aftermath.





	

**Author's Note:**

> So I saw a video on Facebook of some asshat trying to rob a sex toy store. The cashier, a woman with a pair of brass kahunas, started flinging dildos at the would-be robber. It deterred the man, and I couldn't help but think "that is some dumb shit that Merle might do." And voila! A story was born.
> 
> Un-beta'd, written while sleep deprived, but hopefully you'll find it at least half as amusing as I did.

A phone was ringing, stirring Daryl Dixon from his restful slumber.  He groped blindly for the offending phone, ready to chew a new asshole for the fucker disturbing his beauty sleep.  Looking at the time, it was only 12:42 a.m., but it was his one night to sleep in during the week so fuck the prick that was calling.

“What?” His voice growled into the phone, not recognizing the number that had lit up the screen.

“Dixon?  That you?”

“Who’s askin’?” He barked, not caring who it was on the other end of the line.

“ _ OFFICER  _ Shane Walsh, King County PD.  You might wanna dial that attitude back a few notches, Dixon.”

“Fuck,” Daryl sat up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.  “What the hell has Merle done now?”

“Brought a gun to a dildo fight, tried to rob an adult  _ entertainment  _ store.”

“And yer callin’ me, why?  Let the fucker rot in the cell all night, I’ll get ‘im in the mornin’.  I was sleepin’ ya prick.”

Shane’s laugh rang out through the phone, he was enjoying this!  “Just make sure you got some bandages at home, he got pelted on the noggin’ with the wrong end of a vibrator and has a good size gash.  Who the hell robs a sex toy store?”

“You got yer answer, he’s sittin’ in holdin’.  Tell the fucker I’ll get there when I good and well feel like it, he wants out sooner, he’s gotta find someone else ta call.”  Daryl would have preferred to slam the phone down, hang up good and hard and let Shane fuckin’ Walsh know he didn’t give two flying cocks, but that would mean smashing the screen of his smartphone so instead he settled for squinting and pushing the red icon to hang up.  He flopped back down on the bed, rubbing his face with his hands and silently praying that sleep would come back.  A few long swallows of his bedside bottle of Wild Turkey certainly helped, and he drifted off to dreamland with visions of flying dildos, and all manner of things you might find at a sex toy store.

  


* * *

  


It was just after dawn when Daryl felt the bed dip down beside him.  He groaned and burrowed his head further into his pillow.   The sheets moved and he felt a warm body slide in behind him, a furred chest to his back, a flaccid cock to his ass, and warm legs running down the back of his own.  A strong arm came around his waist, fingers dragging through his sparse chest hair, grazing over his nipples, sparking his nerves and forcing a moan from his throat.  Fingers splayed and palm flat against his abdomen, it slid down, down, down… and those warm fingers wrapped around his balls, giving them a delicious squeeze.  None to gentle, but just this side of too firm, enough to make his cock fill.  He reached his own hand down, grabbing ahold of those long fingers and maneuvering them so they wrapped around his cock.

“What’cha doin’ here Grimes?” His sleep heavy voice ground out, sliding his ass back against Rick’s now hardening member, turning his head back far enough to capture that luscious full bottom lip between his teeth.  He groaned when Rick’s tongue ran across his upper lip, followed by a series of slow wet kisses as Rick’s hand rose up and down his cock.  Daryl rolled onto his back, and Rick swung a leg over Daryl, straddling him and taking ownership of his mouth. Toothy nibbles down the length of Daryl’s jaw, sucking wet kisses down the side of his throat, and then capturing his collarbone between his teeth.

“I’m here… to collect… for last night,” he rasped out, as his mouth and tongue laid out a path down to Dary’s nipple, sucking it into his mouth, gently rolling it between his teeth and running the flat of his tongue across it.  “Bailed… him out.”

“The fuck did you do that for?” Daryl grunted, “Nevermind.  Just… keep goin’, explain it to me later.”  He spread his legs as much as he could between Rick’s own, and settled in allowing the man to  _ have his way. _  If his partner had bailed out Merle and saved him the trip downtown, and having to interact with the human species, then he owed Rick big.  Rick had worked his way down far enough he was now under the sheets, and Daryl could feel his hot breath against his skin as the man nuzzled into the hair around his cock and breathed deeply.  He felt the hot slick tongue lapping over the head of his cock, lavishing the flavor of the precum that had begun to weep from the slit.  And then Rick’s mouth was on him, bobbing up and down taking him further and further in until he was sliding down the man’s throat.

The grunts and moans escaping his own throat were embarassing, but moreso was the yelp of surprise when Rick’s fingers dragged over the pucker of his ass.  His inadvertent thrust almost sent Rick flying, but Rick recovered his gag quickly.  The sloppy wet blow job left drool leaking from the sides of Rick’s mouth as he bobbed up and down Daryl’s cock.  He wiped up what he could with his fingers and let them wander back down, sliding a single spit slick digit past that tight ring of flesh.  Daryl’s eyes rolled back, and his hands fisted the sheets at his sides.  He whined, and begged, and pleaded but Rick took his time stretching him open, Daryl practically fucking himself down on Rick’s fingers trying to get as much of them inside of him as he could.

Rick would moan along with him, the vibrations from his voice spurning Daryl on until he was a sweaty writhing mess and threatening to come down Rick’s throat at any moment.

“Uh-uh,” Rick scolded, pulling off with an audible ‘pop.’  “You owe  _ me _ , remember?  Why should you get off before I do, hmm?”

“Fuckin’ blue balls, Richard! Goddamit!” Daryl yelled, huffing and shaking his head when Rick pulled his fingers away and slid up his body.

“No need to be rude,” Rick’s breath came hot against Daryl’s ear.  “I just have other ideas…”  He rolled over onto his back, and got himself comfortable.  “Now sit on my face,” he ordered.

“Excuse me?” Daryl snorted, rolling over on top of his lover. “What did you just say to me?”  He rubbed his attention hungry cock against Rick’s, taking the two in his hand and thrusting, the friction leaving him humming pleasantly.  He nibbled on Rick’s ear lobe, ravished the man’s nipples, giving them a good hard pinch the way he liked.  He nuzzled into Rick’s armpit, and bit his teeth into his bicep, not enough to draw blood but enough to leave a mark that would remind him who he belonged too.  Daryl enjoyed marking Rick’s body almost as much as Rick enjoyed carrying the ‘evidence’ of their times together.  He nibbled and bit his way down the soft skin of Rick’s side, across the V of his hips and back up the other side.  “So, tell me how you want it?”

“Turn around and back up to me,” Rick ordered.  Daryl went on all fours and backed his rear to Rick’s face.  He took hold of Daryl’s slim hips and pulled him back, assaulting him with his tongue.  Spreading it wide and flat against the pucker, sucking against the flesh, and rubbing over it with tip hardened tongue.  Teasing the skin, drawing out shuddering grunts and growls from Daryl as he did so.  Daryl pushed back against his face, hoping that tongue would slip into that tight right and dip inside.  The needy whines drawing Rick’s attention, and reminding him of his own weeping cock standing dark pink and proud.

“Alright…” He pushed Daryl forward, and leaned over grabbing the lube.  Daryl watched over his shoulder as Rick slowly lubed himself up, deliberately taking his time to slide that lube slick hand up and down his cock, not bothering to hide the looks that passed over his face as he pleasured himself.  Thrusting slow yet hard into his own hand, his eyes fluttering closed, his head tipped back… his mouth open and panting as he flicked his wrist, dragging his palm over the head of his own cock, growling to himself.

“Am I bein’ punished?” Daryl asked, spreading his knees wide and aiming his backside so it was in full view of Rick’s face.  “Or do I gotta watch ya jack yerself?”

“Mmmm, baby… I dunno… my hand is doin’ a mighty fine job right now.  Ohhh….”  Daryl could hear the slick hand as it slipped up and down the flesh, up and down Rick’s cock which should be inside  _ his _ ass right now and not in Rick’s hand.

“Babe… please?” Daryl whined, scooting back a little further so the tip of Rick’s cock hit one of his ass cheeks.  “Fuck me, please?  Shove that dick inside me, fuck me hard,  _ wreck me…”  _

“When you put it that way, how could I possibly refuse?”  Rick grinned wide, lining his dick up with Daryl’s ass.  With a few short thrusts, he was fully sheathed.  He had a bruising grip on Daryl’s hips, pulling them back as far as he could so every last millimeter of his cock was inside Daryl.  Slow pumps at first gave way to a frenetic pace, the slap of sweaty skin coming together, sweat dripping off Rick onto Daryl’s back.  The pace unforgiving, each thrust coming faster and harder, Daryl knew he would be feeling this for hours if not days afterward.  He didn’t even try to stay quiet, keening when Rick hit that bundle of nerves, reaching back with one hand to grip Rick’s, their fingers intertwined tightly as Rick grunted and growled above him.  He knew he was almost there as the thrusts became uncoordinated, and Daryl yelped in surprise when Rick’s teeth latched down on the flesh above his collarbone.  The pain spreading delicious heat straight to his pelvis and the two came together, Rick deep inside of him, and Daryl all over the sheet beneath him.  

They collapsed flat onto the bed still connected, Rick stayed on top of him, lapping and kissing at the broken skin from his bite.  “Sorry,” he apologized.  “Didn’t mean for-”

“Don’t.”  Daryl interrupted him, “Been wantin’ you ta do that for awhile… just felt too strange ta ask, ya know?”

He felt the rumble of Rick’s chuckle against his back.  “Nah, you been markin’ me up a fair bit lately, consider it a favor returned.”  Rick lay there against Daryl’s back for awhile, his flaccid cock soon slipping from Daryl’s backside.  He almost dozed back off again when Daryl spoke up.

“So… Merle tried to rob a sex toy store?”

“Mm-hm,” Rick nodded. Shifting Daryl onto his back so he could snuggle in to his neck and rest his head against his shoulder.  “The broad at the register musta recognized him.  There was a verbal altercation, he pulled a gun on her, and she started hurling dildos at him.”

“Wait… she chucked dildos at a dude with a gun… is she lackin’ fer common sense?”

“Nope, she was smart enough to know the gun wasn’t loaded.  Wasn’t a clip in it.”

Daryl laughed at the ridiculousness of the situation.  “Was he at least drunk? High? Or was he just plain fuckin’ stupid?”

Rick laughed along with him, “I don’t know, man…”

“Merle’s Merle, that’s for damn sure.  Tough as nails, but dumb as a box of rocks sometimes.”

“He’s right, you always were the smart one.”  Rick teased, leaning up to peck a kiss to Daryl’s lips.

“You gonna stay here awhile?” Daryl asked, letting his fingers run through Rick’s hair.

“Gonna nap, and fuck ya again.  That fit into your plans for the day?”

“Mmmm, I do believe that can be arranged,”  Daryl snickered, and pressed a kiss to Rick’s head.  “Tell Walsh if he ever calls me at that hour of night shift again, I’ll put a bolt in his ass.”

“Duly noted,” Rick mumbled as he drifted off to sleep.

  



End file.
